


Be My New Drug

by MaximusMeridian



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Diego is a great distraction, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, boys being boys near the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 02:01:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18356309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaximusMeridian/pseuds/MaximusMeridian
Summary: Klaus is itching for a hit, but Diego isn't letting him leave the house. So, Klaus finds a new way to distract himself, and thankfully, Diego is more than willing to help out.





	Be My New Drug

“I could just smoke a joint.” Klaus tried, again, to convince Diego to let him slip out to get a quick high. Unfortunately, Number Two was being _especially_ stubborn today, playing darts with one of his knife sets.

        “Klaus, you can ask fifteen times, but I’m not going to let you out to go get stoned. You’re two days sober.” Diego reminded, sitting back on the foot of his bed and throwing another knife. He was having fun it looked like, adding fancy curves or weird angles just to watch the knife sink directly into the bulls-eye every time.

        “Come on, Diego.” Klaus complained. “Pot isn’t even really a drug. It’s, it’s a plant. A wonderful, wonderful plant that you roll up in paper and smoke until your head is all cloudy and quiet and…” He sighed dreamily, dropping to sit beside Diego.

        “Look, I know that the withdrawals are bad, but you got this, Klaus.” Diego insisted, pressing a kiss to his slightly sweaty temple.

        Klaus sighed dramatically, a slow smirk growing on his face as a new idea came to mind. _If he couldn’t go get high… Diego could at least serve as a distraction._

        “Wha-what are you doing?” Diego asked, eyes wide and focus instantly locked on Klaus where he had slid down between Diego’s legs.

        “If I can’t go smoke, _you’re_ going to distract me.” Klaus grinned, running his fingers slowly over the natural bulge in Number Two’s pants. He massaged over it more firmly, biting his lip a bit as he felt Diego start to respond to the treatment.

        “Could have just asked.” Diego mumbled, leaning back and resting on his forearms.

        Klaus giggled a bit, reaching to unfasten Diego’s belt. “But it’s so much more fun to see the look on your face when I surprise you.”

        “You gonna behave?” Diego asked, quirking an eyebrow.

        Klaus licked his lips, slowly pulling down Diego’s zipper. “That depends…”

        Diego’s breath catches a little, but surprisingly there’s no stutter to be found. “On what?”

        “ _On how hard you fuck me.”_

        If Klaus didn’t know Diego’s powers intimately, he’d have sworn that the man had super speed with how fast he had Klaus on his stomach on the bed.

        “You trying to say I don’t take care of you?” Diego growled in his ear, biting at the lobe before pressing more biting kisses down the side of his throat.

        Klaus let out a breathy laugh, trying to lift his hips and press back against Diego’s crotch.

        Klaus’s face was pushed firmly into the pillows by a hand on his neck, the other shoving him flush against the mattress.

        “You wearing anything under your skirt today?” Diego asked, voice low and husky. The hand on Klaus’s hip moved down his thigh, pushing under it and running up his bare thigh underneath.

        “What’s the point of a skirt if you don’t want the breeze?” Klaus laughed breathlessly, stifling a moan as Diego’s hand moved between his legs.

        Klaus shifted a bit, managing to get his arms under his chest and lifting himself a little bit, just enough that he could rock down into Diego’s curled fingers.

        “This how you were gonna get your drugs today?” Diego growled, curling his fingers tighter around the base of Klaus’s cock, the callouses from years of handling knives and boxing just enough friction to send a shiver down Klaus’s spine.

        “Just spread your legs for some dealer?” Diego continued, starting to slowly trail his fingers along the length until Klaus was shuddering.

        “Probably would have robbed Dad’s office first.” Klaus moaned, chewing his bottom lip and trying to roll his hips into the touches. It was such a teasing feeling, enough friction to tease but not enough to do anything more.

        Diego seemed pleased with that answer, his fingers moving to the head of Klaus’s cock and massaging just below the head with his thumb.

        A weak whimper escaped Klaus and he mentally cursed the newfound sensitivity he was experiencing with his body detoxing. It hadn’t taken long for Diego to figure out, and less time after that for him to find Klaus’s weak spots.

        “Mm… Diego.” Klaus groaned softly, rocking his hips. Diego shifted their position, spreading Klaus’s legs and settling between them more fully. With that, Klaus was finally able to press against the familiar bulge of Diego’s own eager erection.

        “C’mon, Diego…” Klaus tried, wishing that his voice sounded breathy and sexy instead of breathless and desperate. “You should pull those down… must be so tight now.”

        Diego twisted his hand sharply, earning a yelp from Klaus.

        “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Klaus hissed, his head falling so his forehead was against the pillow. He almost wished that the skirt wasn’t in the way… the contrast of Diego’s beautiful dark skin against Klaus’s own ghostly pale was one of his favorite sights.

        “Grab the lube.” Diego said, his breath hot against Klaus’s ear.

        Klaus threw his arm out, patting around for the bedside table. Once he found it, the drawer was open and the bottle was in hand in record time.

        Diego grabbed the bottle, his hand leaving Klaus’s cock feeling oh so lonely.

        Thankfully Diego didn’t make him suffer long, coating his palm in the cool gel and wrapping his fingers around Klaus again.

        “About _fucking tim_ e.” Klaus laughed. “Hurry up, huh? I don’t want to be old by the time I get off.”

        That was _not_ the right thing to say because Diego’s hand started moving quickly, twisting just right when it reached the head and earning loud gasps from Klaus in return.

        The smaller man fell face first into the pillows again, stifling the moans pouring out of his mouth.

        “Fuck, Diego…” Klaus groaned, his hips bucking back hard. “F-fuck, don’t stop. God, ‘m gonna_”

        He almost cried when Diego’s fingers clenched tightly around the base, blocking off the orgasm he was so, _so_ close to.

        “When you rush me, it makes me not want to give you anything nice. And that’s no fun at all, is it?” Diego purred, bumping his nose against Klaus’s ear.

        Klaus whined, grinding back against Diego to try and beg for some kind of pressure, just a little friction on one side or the other.

        “Now, are you going to behave?” Diego asked again, his voice almost cruelly sweet.

        Klaus bit his bottom lip, nodding his head hard.

        Diego gave his cheek one quick sweet kiss before removing his hands from Klaus completely. Behind him, Klaus heard the bottle popping open and the slick sound of Diego coating his fingers.

        Without being told, he wiggled, reaching back to pull the long skirt up to fully expose his ass. _He’d learned Diego’s turn ons too, after all._

        “Mm… would you look at that…” came Diego’s appreciative sigh, his dry hand reaching forward and squeezing a handful of Klaus’s ass. “Damn good thing you kept this ass even with how skinny you got.”

        “All the better to tease you with, Diego.” Klaus hummed happily. “Now, would you please…?” He wiggled his hips suggestively.

        Diego, thankfully, did as he was asked, not teasing for long before pressing the first finger inside. Klaus’s eyes fluttered closed as he happily enjoyed the rhythmic feeling of being opened up.

        _One of their first times together, Klaus had made a joke about Diego’s perfect aim applying to more than just knives… though he didn’t know if Diego had found it funny because seconds later, Klaus was screaming too loud to care._

        Klaus was pulled back to the present by the sudden loss of Diego’s fingers and he audibly whined because of it.

        “Gotta let me get my pants down, baby.” Diego chuckled. “Unless you wanted me to just use my fingers?”

        Klaus shook his head quickly. “No, gimme more.”

        Diego laughed, wiggling out of his jeans. Within just a few short moments, something much thicker and hotter than fingers was pressing inside Klaus.

        “Remember to breathe, baby.” Diego chuckled softly, pulling Klaus against his chest and lifting up on his knees.

        Klaus took an audible deep breath, humming happily at the fullness he loved so much.

        “Feels so good, baby…” Diego whispered praises in his ear, kissing sweetly over his neck and down his shoulder.

        Diego started by rolling his hips slowly, building up to a much faster pace like Klaus loved.

        Klaus’s voice grew in volume with each thrust and pretty soon one hand had moved back to Diego’s hip, nails digging into that beautiful caramel skin hard enough that he knew it would leave small crescent shaped bruises, hopefully for days.

        Long fingers came to wrap loosely around Klaus’s neck, causing him to take in a short but sharp breath. Even if it wasn’t actual choking, just the presence of the weight on his throat brought Klaus’s attention sharply back.

        “What do you see?” Diego asked, his breathing fast and heavy from where he was so close to Klaus’s ear.

        Klaus groaned quietly, his eyes slowly managing to open. He saw the room around them… _the empty quiet room…_

        “Just us, _Papi_.” Klaus smiled, moving a hand down between his legs. “Now come on. Give me all you got.”

        Diego pushed Klaus back onto the bed, using the hand not wrapped around his neck to hold them both up.

        Before long, Klaus was crying out in pleasure, his body tensing and shuddering as he rode out his orgasm.

        Diego groaned loudly, pressing his face against Klaus’s back as he came just moments later.

        Diego dropped his hand from Klaus’s neck, gently rubbing down his sides to help Klaus come down from his high peacefully.

        “ _God_ , you’re amazing.” Klaus sighed dreamily, turning his head sideways on the pillow so he could look back at Diego.

        He chuckled in response, pulling out carefully and rolling off to the side. Diego pulled Klaus against his chest, so that the smaller man was more on top of him than the wet spot of the bed.

        “You still need a smoke?” Diego asked, raising an eyebrow.

        Klaus thought honestly for a moment and realized… _no, he didn’t_. He felt giddy and relaxed, a dizzy high that he usually only got to experience after days of popping every pill he could find.

        But now, he had silence from the spirits… _and he was warm and happy instead of alone and cold like he always ended up when he got high._

        “So, am I supposed to come to you when I need a fix now?” Klaus grinned.

        “I guess.” Diego chuckled.

        “You’re my _dick dealer_.” Klaus laughed. “Does that mean you’re dealing drugs or are you a pimp?”

        “Shut up, Klaus. You’re ruining my happy buzz.” Diego swatted his ass.

        “But I _need_ to know. Gotta have my facts straight. Something about all this has to be.” He laughed hysterically at his own joke, hiding his face in Diego’s chest until the laughter subsided.

        “I’ll take care of you, Klaus.” Diego promised softly, kissing the soft curls on Klaus’s head.

        “I know you will.” Klaus sighed happily.

        “But I’m telling you now, we are not spending all day in this room.” Diego said seriously. “You’re not becoming a sex addict on my watch. Luther would give me shit for the rest of our lives.”

        Klaus pouted, looking up at him under long lashes. “Can we spend weekends in bed?”

        “No, Klaus.”

        “Just Fridays?”

        “ _No_ , Klaus.”

        “What about_”

        “Klaus, if you don’t stop, you are never getting your hands on my dick again.”

        “Aw _come on_ , Diego.”

        “I’m serious.”

        “Fine.” Klaus sulked, pressing closer to Diego’s side. “Only three times a day.”

        “One.” Diego said firmly. “Maybe two sometimes.”

        Klaus rolled his eyes but stopped arguing. He knows how to play these games. And he definitely knew how to get what he wanted. Especially from Diego.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, thanks for making it to the end! This is my first time publishing smut anywhere in... years, honestly. So thank you for making it to the end. 
> 
> Leave a like or comment to let me know if this was any good!


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